Child Won’t Sleep? Helping Your Child Sleep Better

If your child will not sleep at night, start with the same wind-down at the same time every evening: dim the lights, switch screens off about an hour before bed, keep the last half hour quiet, and put your child into bed drowsy but still awake. Most families notice a difference within one to two weeks of doing it consistently.

Parents tell us the same sentence week after week — bacha raat ko nahi sota (بچہ رات کو نہیں سوتا), or raat ko baar baar uthta hai: the child will not sleep, or wakes again and again. You are not failing, and your child is not being naughty. Sleep is a skill that develops, and like every other developmental skill it answers to steady, gentle practice rather than to one dramatic fix. If broken nights sit alongside other quiet worries — talking, play, attention, behaviour — a developmental assessment is the calm way to see the whole picture instead of guessing at one piece of it.

How much sleep does my child actually need?

There is no single right number. World Health Organization guidance for children under five asks for 11 to 14 hours of good sleep in 24 hours for a one- to two-year-old, and 10 to 13 hours for a three- or four-year-old, naps included. School-age children need less than a preschooler, but still noticeably more than an adult.

The clock is only half the answer. The better test is what the daytime looks like:

• Your child wakes by themselves most mornings, rather than being peeled out of bed.
• They are not falling asleep in the car or on the sofa at five in the evening.
• They can hold attention on a task at their own level.
• Their mood is manageable — tired children are usually cross, clumsy or wired, not sleepy-looking.

If your child seems well on slightly less than the guideline, trust the daytime over the table.

How do I build a bedtime routine that actually works?

A bedtime routine works when it is short, always in the same order, and always ends in the room where your child will sleep. Three or four calm steps over about half an hour is enough — bath, pyjamas, teeth, one story — with lights out at roughly the same time every night, weekends included.

The last step is the one parents most often skip, and it is the one that changes the night. A child who is patted, rocked or fed all the way to sleep learns that this is how sleep starts. When they surface at 2am — as everybody does — the same conditions have gone, so they call for you. A child who goes into bed sleepy but awake has practised the falling-asleep part themselves, and can usually do it again in the dark.

If your child is very young, or language is still coming, use pictures instead of instructions: four photos on the wall for bath, pyjamas, teeth, story. Our free five-week sleep home program walks through the same plan one week at a time, starting with the bedroom and the morning wake-up time before it touches bedtime at all.

Why does my child fight bedtime every night?

Bedtime resistance is nearly always one of four things: your child is not tired enough yet, they are overtired, the evening has been too stimulating, or going to bed means being separated from you. Each one has a different fix, so it is worth working out which you are looking at before changing anything.

• Not tired enough. Usually a nap that is too late or too long, or a quiet day indoors. Move the nap earlier, cap it, and get real daylight and active play into the morning.
• Overtired. A second wind, giggling, running, then a crash into tears. Counter-intuitively, move bedtime earlier, in fifteen-minute steps across a week.
• The evening is too busy. Guests, rough-and-tumble, a heavy late meal, bright lights, a loud television in the same room. Protect the last hour, even when the house is full.
• Separation. Your child is not resisting sleep, they are resisting you leaving. Keep the goodbye short, warm and identical every night, and offer one planned check-back — “I will look in on you in five minutes” — which you actually do.

One more that we see constantly in Multan, and it is nobody’s fault: in a joint family, bedtime is run by whoever is free. One night it is Mama with a story, the next it is an uncle with the television on. Children cannot learn a sequence that changes nightly. Agree one bedtime, one order and one adult who leads it most nights, and let everyone else know the plan.

What should I do when my child wakes at 2am?

Keep night wakings boring. Low light, few words, the same short phrase every time, and walk your child straight back to their own bed. Comfort with a hand on the back rather than a conversation, a snack, a light or a screen. The message you are teaching is a simple one: night-time is for sleeping.

Everybody surfaces briefly between sleep cycles, several times a night — adults included. The question is never whether your child wakes, it is whether they can settle themselves again. That is why the drowsy-but-awake start matters so much, and why a long night-time chat, however loving, tends to make the next waking longer rather than shorter.

Nightmares or night terrors?

They look similar and need opposite responses. A nightmare tends to come later in the night, your child wakes properly, is frightened and remembers it — so comfort, stay a little while, and talk about it in the morning rather than at 3am. A night terror usually happens in the first few hours, and your child may sit up, cry, thrash or look straight through you while still asleep. They will not remember it. Do not try to wake them; keep them safe, stay quiet, and wait it out.

Does screen time before bed really matter?

Yes, and in two separate ways. Bright screens close to bedtime make it harder for the body to feel sleepy, and — the bigger problem in most homes — the content itself keeps the brain switched on long after the tablet is put down. Swapping the last hour for a book, drawing, a bath or a quiet chat usually does more than any other single change.

Two changes are worth making before any others: turn off the television in the room where your child sleeps, and keep an older child’s phone out of the bed. Our guide to healthy screen time habits covers what the guidance says by age, and why the kind of screen time matters more than the minutes.

Could a sensory difficulty be keeping my child awake?

Some children genuinely cannot switch off, because their body is either chasing sensation or defending against it. Sensory-seeking children need movement and deep pressure before they can be still — they roll, crash, bounce and headbutt the pillow. Sensory-sensitive children are kept awake by things you may not even register: the seam of a pyjama, a washing label, the fan’s rattle, a strip of light under the door, a sheet that feels scratchy.

What tends to help, and costs nothing to try:

• Ten minutes of heavy work before the bath — pushing a laundry basket, carrying water bottles, bear walks, a firm squeeze-hug. Calming input, not exciting input.
• The same pyjamas fabric every night, labels cut out, seams checked.
• A firm, tucked-in top sheet, which many children find more settling than a loose one.
• Deal with what the room actually does in a Multan summer — heat, mosquitoes, and the moment the fan stops and the silence itself wakes the child.

If this is the pattern in your house every night rather than occasionally, it is worth reading our notes on sensory processing difficulties, and our sensory integration therapy page explains how we work on regulation across the whole day, not just at bedtime. Sleep is usually the last thing to improve, because it asks a child to be calm without an adult in the room.

When is poor sleep worth seeing someone about?

Please speak to a doctor rather than trying harder at home if you notice any of these:

• Loud snoring, or pauses, gasping or choking in your child’s breathing during sleep. This can be a sign of sleep apnoea and needs a medical opinion, not a better routine.
• Severe daytime sleepiness, or sleepiness that is affecting school and daily life.
• A sudden change in sleep alongside pain, weight loss, low mood or being generally unwell.
• Extreme or worsening distress at bedtime or during the night.
• Nights that stay broken for months even though the routine has been steady.

Sleep is one of the first things we ask about in an assessment, because it rarely travels alone. Children who struggle with attention, language, anxiety or sensory regulation very often sleep badly too, and a tired child has far less capacity for learning of any kind. If you have other quiet worries, our calm checklists of what to look for at two years and what to look for at three years are a good place to start.

To be straight with you: we are not a sleep clinic, and anything involving breathing during sleep belongs with your doctor. Where we can help is when sleep is tangled up with routine, sensory needs, anxiety or development.

What can you change tonight?

You do not need the whole plan to begin. Pick these five, in this order, and give them a fortnight:

1. Fix the morning first. The same wake-up time every day, weekends too, steadies everything else.
2. Get daylight and active play into the day, especially the first half of it.
3. Screens off an hour before bed, and the lights dimmed around the house.
4. Run the same three or four steps in the same order, ending in the bedroom.
5. Into bed drowsy but awake, with one short goodbye phrase you will use every single night.

Expect an off night. Illness, travel, a new baby or a house full of guests will all knock things sideways — that is the routine being interrupted, not the routine failing. Go back to it the next evening without comment.

If broken nights have gone on for months, or sleep is one worry among several, contact us and we can talk it through. We are on MPS Road in Model Town, Multan, Monday to Saturday, and a short WhatsApp message is a perfectly good way to start.