Social Stories: What They Are, What They Are Not

A social story is a short, personal description of a situation your child is about to meet — what will happen, what other people may do, and one thing your child can do. Carol Gray developed the format in the 1990s for autistic children. Every autism centre in Pakistan now mentions them. Very few show you how to write one that a child will actually use.

We are not a certified Social Stories™ centre, and we will not sell you a pack of generic pages titled “I go to school.” A story that is not about this child, this classroom, this dentist chair is a poster. Posters do not lower anxiety.

What a social story is for

Autistic children often do not get the unwritten script: how long the wait will be, who speaks first, what “smart uniform” means, when they are allowed to leave. A story makes the hidden curriculum visible. It is closest in spirit to a visual schedule — both tell the child what is coming — with more sentences and more feeling-words.

Good uses:

• a new teacher, a substitute, or the first week of a new class
• a dentist visit, haircut, or blood test
• a wedding, a funeral, or a long wait at NADRA — see crowds and family events
• what happens when the generator starts, or when the teacher raises her voice
• how to ask for a break without running

Poor uses:

• trying to “write away” a behaviour you have not understood — hitting, bolting, refusing school
• twenty stories in a folder and none practised in the real place
• a story whose real message is “stop being autistic in public”
• as a substitute for a way to ask, a schedule, or a smaller demand

The research is modest, not magical. Reviews find some children are better prepared for a known event after a well-written story; the effect is not a treatment for autism and it does not generalise if you never practise in the room itself. That is honest, and it is enough. A calmer first dentist visit is worth a page.

How to write one tonight

Keep it to one event. Write it in the child’s language — Urdu, English, or mixed, whichever they actually listen in. Use photographs of the real place if you can. Read it when everyone is calm, not in the car on the way there for the first time.

1. Title the event. “Going to Mrs Khan’s classroom.” Not “Being good at school.”
2. Describe what is true. “The classroom is on the first floor. There are 28 children. The fan is loud. We sit at the second table.”
3. Describe what other people may do. “Mrs Khan will say my name. Some children talk at once. That is the class, not a danger.”
4. Give one thing your child can do. “I can show my break card. I can cover my ears. I can ask Ammi to wait at the gate for five minutes.”
5. End with a feeling that is allowed. “I might feel tight in my chest. That can happen. The lesson still ends.”

Write in the first person or third, whichever your child prefers. Avoid “I must,” “I should never,” and a list of ten rules. One coping action beats a moral.

For a child who does not read, the same story is pictures in order, with you saying the sentences. For a child who uses a device or cards, one page of the story can be the same picture they will hand over in the room — see AAC, pictures and devices.

Pakistani details the downloaded templates miss

• Uniforms, assembly, and the canteen are often harder than the lesson. Write those, not “I sit on the mat.”
• Generators, azan, and wedding dhol are sensory events. Name the sound and how long it usually lasts.
• Relatives who pinch cheeks and ask for a salaam need a sentence the child can use, and a sentence you will say for them. A story that tells the child to “be polite” without giving you a job will fail at the door.
• Urdu honorifics. If the child is expected to say “Assalam o alaikum, Auntie,” put the exact words on the page and practise them as a chunk, not as a lecture on manners.

When a story is not the next step

If the child is melting down because the day is unpredictable, start with a visual schedule, not a paragraph. If they have no way to say “stop,” start with a request. If school itself is the trauma, read school refusal and classroom support — a story about “I love school” will make it worse.

If the school is offering a shadow teacher, the story should include that adult’s name and what they will and will not do. A shadow who becomes a human shield does not need a story. They need a fade plan.

Inclusive Developmental and Therapy Center in Model Town, Multan will help you write one or two stories that match this week’s actual event, as part of parent coaching — not as a laminated library. A consultation is Rs 1,500 and lasts up to 50 minutes.