Written by the Inclusive Developmental and Therapy Center therapy team · medically reviewed by Dr Muhammad Suffyan, MB BS (GMC 8023727) · Last reviewed July 2026
Anxiety in children is worry or fear that has grown out of proportion, keeps coming back, and starts to make a child’s world smaller. Ordinary worry is normal and healthy — almost every child is nervous before a test, at bedtime, or on a first day at a new school — but anxiety needs a hand when it is there most days and is keeping your child from school, sleep, friends, or the things they used to enjoy. That line, rather than the worry itself, is what we look at when a parent brings an anxious child to Inclusive Developmental and Therapy Center in Multan.
Childhood anxiety comes in a few recognisable shapes. Separation anxiety is the fear of being apart from you. Social anxiety is the fear of being watched, judged or laughed at. Generalised worry spreads thinly over many things at once. Specific fears fasten onto one thing — the dark, dogs, injections, being sick. A child can have more than one, and the shape usually changes as they grow.
Parents put it to us more plainly: bacha school jane se darta hai — my child is scared of going to school (بچہ اسکول جانے سے ڈرتا ہے). If that is your house at seven in the morning, please hear two things. You have not caused this, and your child is not being difficult. Anxiety is one of the most workable difficulties in childhood, and much of what helps is done by parents at home rather than in a therapy room.
You do not need a diagnosis or a doctor’s referral to talk to us, and the first consultation is free. Support usually starts with the adults, because the way a family answers a worry either shrinks it or feeds it. Where a child needs more, the work is a ladder of small, agreed steps — never forcing a frightened child to face the whole thing at once.
What does anxiety look like in a child?
- Worrying most days, often about several things at once, or about things that are unlikely to happen
- Asking the same “what if” question again and again, and not staying settled for long after your answer
- Avoiding things — school, parties, sleepovers, the dark, speaking to a shopkeeper — and getting very upset when avoiding is not allowed
- Real physical symptoms with no medical cause: tummy aches, headaches, feeling sick, or needing the toilet often, especially before the feared thing
- Trouble falling asleep, waking in the night, bad dreams, or every worry arriving the moment the light goes off
- Eating noticeably more or less than usual
- Clinginess, tears, or real distress at drop-off and at any separation from you
- Anger that looks like defiance — many anxious children fight rather than freeze, and the meltdown usually lands on the person they feel safest with
- Finding it hard to concentrate at school, because worry is already using the space
- Perfectionism: a strong fear of getting things wrong, rubbing work out over and over, or refusing to start in case it is not right
How can I help my anxious child at home?
- Name the feeling instead of arguing with it. “I can see this feels really scary, and I am right here” lands far better than “there is nothing to worry about” — which tells an anxious child you have not understood.
- Answer the worry once, calmly and honestly, and then stop. Repeating the same reassurance ten times feels kind, but the relief lasts minutes and the asking grows. Agree a phrase you will both use instead: “we have already answered that one.”
- Do not build the family around the fear. Over-accommodating — taking the long way round the dog, lying beside her every single night, phoning school on the bad mornings — settles today and enlarges tomorrow.
- Go up in small brave steps, in an order your child helped choose. Look at the dog through the window, then from across the street, then from the gate. Praise the trying, not the not-being-scared.
- Keep routines boringly predictable and protect sleep. A tired child has very little left over for being brave, and bedtime is when worries get loudest.
- Let your child see you cope. Saying out loud “I am nervous about this too, so I am going to do it slowly” teaches more than any speech about being brave.
- Put unhurried time together first — ten minutes a day where nothing is being taught, corrected or asked. Security is the ground everything else stands on.
- Tell the school early. A teacher who knows a child is frightened rather than rude can change the small things — a seat near the door, a job to do at break, no cold-calling in class — and that alone removes much of the daily fear.
- Have the physical symptoms checked once by your child’s doctor or paediatrician so nothing is missed. Then treat them as anxiety, rather than re-investigating them every week.
- Ask for help if worry is winning most days, has lasted weeks rather than days, or is shrinking your child’s world. Talking therapies such as CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy — a structured way of learning to notice and test anxious thoughts) work well for children, alongside coaching for parents.
- Treat it as urgent if your child ever talks about harming themselves or about not wanting to be here. Contact your child’s doctor the same day, or go straight to the nearest hospital emergency department. Do not wait for an appointment.
Anxiety is not a sign that your child is broken, and it is not a verdict on your parenting — the NHS notes that having a close family member with anxiety may make it more likely, which is biology, not blame. Three things belong with a doctor before they belong with us: a physical symptom that has never been checked, weight loss or a child who has stopped eating properly, and anxiety that arrived suddenly after a frightening event. Everything else tends to answer, slowly and unglamorously, to calm, patience and small brave steps taken in the right order.
This is a general, made-up example, not a real child. Imagine an eight-year-old we’ll call Sana. For two months she had a tummy ache every school morning and none at all on Sunday. She asked her mother the same question a dozen times a night — will you definitely be at the gate? — and had stopped going to friends’ houses. Her parents were doing what any loving parent does: answering every question, lying beside her until she slept, keeping her home on the worst mornings. What changed things was not more reassurance, it was less. They answered once, kept a dull and fixed bedtime, and agreed three steps with her — in through the gate with her mother, then as far as the classroom door, then straight in. Her teacher stopped asking her to read aloud without warning. What lifted first was not the worry itself; it was the tummy aches and the length of bedtime. The questions took longer. Every child is different — and had Sana also stopped eating, or had the fear arrived overnight after a frightening event, we would have sent her to a doctor first.
An illustrative, general example — not a real child. Every child is unique; the only way to know what yours needs is a proper assessment.What the research tells us
Everything we do is grounded in published research, not just opinion. Here are a few findings from trusted, independent sources:
The NHS describes it as normal for children and young people to feel worried or anxious from time to time, and treats anxiety as a problem when it affects a child’s behaviour and thoughts every day, interfering with their school, home and social life. It notes that separation anxiety is common in younger children, whereas older children and teenagers tend to worry more about school or have social anxiety — and that having a close family member with anxiety may increase a child’s chance of having it too.
— NHS — Anxiety disorders in children. View sourceThe same NHS guidance says it is important to talk to your child about their anxiety or worries, and to seek professional help if a child is constantly anxious and it is not getting better, or is getting worse. It names counselling, which can help a child understand what is making them anxious, and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) as talking therapies that help; medicines are described as something that may be offered where anxiety is severe or does not improve.
— NHS — Anxiety disorders in children. View source
Other areas we help with
Childhood Anxiety: questions parents ask
Is some anxiety normal in children — and when does it stop being normal?
Yes. Worry and fear are a normal part of growing up, and most children go through phases of them. Anxiety stops being ordinary when it happens most days, is out of proportion to the situation, lasts for weeks rather than days, and begins to stop your child doing everyday things. The NHS puts the line at anxiety that interferes with school, home and social life.
What is the difference between a child psychologist, a psychiatrist and a behaviour therapist?
A child psychologist (بچوں کا ماہر نفسیات) assesses how a child thinks, feels and behaves and works through talking, play and structured approaches such as CBT — they do not prescribe medicine. A child psychiatrist is a medical doctor who can diagnose and prescribe, and is the right person when anxiety is severe or medication is being considered. A behaviour therapist teaches specific skills and behaviour patterns. For an anxious child the usual starting point is the first of the three — our child psychology support in Multan explains what that looks like here.
My child has a tummy ache every school morning. Is the pain real?
Yes, the pain is real. Anxiety produces genuine physical symptoms, and the NHS lists tummy aches, feeling tense and fidgety and using the toilet often among the signs of anxiety in children. The clue is the pattern: it appears on school mornings and vanishes at weekends and in the holidays. Have it checked once by your child’s doctor, then stop re-investigating it. If what you see is repeated blinking, sniffing or throat-clearing rather than pain, that may be tics, which also worsen under stress; if mealtimes have narrowed, our page on feeding and fussy eating covers that.
How do I stop the endless “what if” questions?
Reassurance works for about five minutes, and then the question comes back bigger. That is not your child being difficult — it is how anxiety learns. Answer the worry once, warmly and honestly, then hold a line you agreed together: “we have already answered that one, and I am still here.” Then help your child take one small step towards the thing they are avoiding. This is the loop you are breaking:
My child refuses to go to school. What should I do?
Act early, because the longer a child stays at home the harder the return becomes. First rule out the obvious: illness, bullying, a subject they are lost in, a teacher they are frightened of. Then aim for the smallest attendance that is genuinely possible rather than a perfect day — the gate, then the first lesson, then a full morning — and keep the handover short, calm and confident. Get school working the same plan, in the same order: see how we work with schools and teachers. If your child goes silent at school rather than staying away, read about selective mutism.
Will therapy be harsh? Will you force my child to face what frightens them?
No. Nobody is thrown in at the deep end, and we do not use punishment, bribes or tricks. Anxiety work is a ladder your child helps build: each rung is only slightly harder than the last, your child knows what is coming, and we move up only once the rung below feels easy. Pressure sends an anxious child backwards, so it is not a shortcut — it is the mistake. Parents stay in the room and in the plan, because most of the real work happens at home between sessions.
Bedtime has become the hardest hour of the day. What helps?
Very common. With the lights off and nothing left to distract them, the worries finally get the floor. Keep the routine dull and identical every night, finish screens well before bed, and give worry an earlier slot — ten minutes after dinner to say every worry out loud, so bedtime is not the only place they fit. Stay close, but try not to become the thing sleep depends on: move your chair a little further from the bed each week. Our free home sleep program walks through the routine step by step.
Do you see anxious children in Multan, and do we need a referral or a diagnosis first?
No referral and no diagnosis are needed, and the first consultation is free. You are welcome at our centre on MPS Road, Block A Model Town, Multan, near Bloomfield Hall School, Monday to Saturday, 10am to 7pm — bacha bohat ghabrata hai (my child gets very frightened) is a perfectly good reason to come. We work in Urdu and English. Bring any report you already have, and tell us what the last two weeks have actually looked like at home. You can book an assessment here, call us, or send a WhatsApp message.
Worried about your child? Let’s talk.
A short, friendly conversation is the best first step. Call, text or WhatsApp us — we’ll listen and guide you, with no pressure.
MPS Road, Block A Model Town, Multan (near Bloomfield Hall School, Street No. 2) · Mon–Sat, 10 AM – 7 PM