Making Friends: Social Skills at Home
Help your child take turns, share, join in play and build warm connections with other children.
Written by the Inclusive Developmental and Therapy Center therapy team · medically reviewed by Dr Muhammad Suffyan, MB BS (GMC 8023727) · Last reviewed July 2026
Yes, social skills can be taught at home — and for most young children, home is where they are learned first. If your child hovers at the edge of the group, plays beside other children instead of with them, or hands a toy back only when you insist, you are watching a skill that is still growing, not a flaw in your child. This free program turns that into gentle weekly steps you can start today, and it sits alongside our other free home therapy programs for parents.
It helps to know the order children learn in. First they play alone, then they watch other children, then they play happily alongside another child without really joining in — and that alongside stage is completely normal well past the second birthday. Playing with someone, agreeing on a game and giving up a toy without being asked usually come later, closer to four. A lot of worried parents are watching a child who is exactly where they should be.
Parents tell us this in their own words: mera bacha kisi se ghulta milta nahi, my child doesn’t mix with anyone; bacha sharmeela hai, he is shy; school se shikayat aati hai ke kisi se baat nahi karta, the school says he doesn’t speak to anyone. With cousins in and out of the house, a child who stays on the edge is noticed early here. These are warm, play-based ideas for ordinary days. They support your child, but they don’t replace a proper assessment if something feels wrong. If it does, you can book a session with our therapists in Multan at any point along the way.
Who this program is for
- Children who hover at the edge of the group, or can’t find a way into play
- Children who play beside other children but not yet with them
- Little ones who snatch, or find sharing and waiting for a turn very hard
- Shy or unsure children who warm up slowly in new places
- Children whose school or nursery says they don’t mix with the class
- Autistic children, and children being assessed, who want more shared moments alongside their autism therapy sessions
- Families who simply want playful, practical ways to build connection at home
Important — when to get professional help
This is a supportive home program — it isn’t a diagnosis, and it doesn’t replace a proper assessment. Please speak to a professional soon if:
- Your child loses social skills they clearly had before — words, waving, pointing or eye contact
- Little or no interest in other people at all, including one to one with familiar, loving adults — one of the early signs of autism worth asking about
- Real distress or panic simply from being near other children, rather than shyness that eases with time
- No pointing, showing or shared attention by the ages you would expect it
- Your child doesn’t respond to their name or to loud sounds — have their hearing checked before anything else
- Social difficulties that are clearly getting worse rather than slowly easing
If any of these sound familiar, a professional near you is the best next step — earlier help is always kinder and easier. You can also try our free 2-minute check.
Your step-by-step roadmap
Move at your child’s pace, not the calendar’s — the “weeks” are just a gentle order, not a race. Feel free to repeat any stage for as long as it’s helping.
Week 1 — Play together first
Build connection through one-to-one play with you.- Set aside short bursts of child-led play — ten minutes counts — where your child decides and you simply follow.
- Get down face to face on the floor and copy what your child is doing, to spark a shared moment.
- Comment more than you question. “You’re building it tall” invites play; “What colour is that?” turns play into a test.
- Keep it pressure-free — connection matters far more than playing the “right” way.
Try this: Join your child’s play before you expect them to join anyone else’s. If shared moments are the hard part, our connection and joint attention home program takes this first step much further.
Week 2 — Taking turns
Practise the back-and-forth that friendship is built on.- Play games with a short, obvious turn — rolling a ball, stacking one block each, posting shapes into a box.
- Use the same clear words every time — “my turn… your turn” — so the rhythm becomes easy to feel.
- Start with two turns each and build up slowly. Long turns are what make waiting hard.
- Hand the toy back quickly at first, so waiting always pays off for your child.
Try this: Turn-taking is the heartbeat of friendship, and a rolling ball teaches it beautifully.
Week 3 — Show how it looks
Model the friendly moves instead of explaining them.- Model waving, saying hello and asking “Can I play?” in ordinary moments — then let it go, with no rehearsal and no pressure.
- Use toys, puppets or a favourite cartoon to act out sharing, waiting and being left out.
- Point out friendly behaviour as it happens — “Look, she gave him a turn.”
- Name the feeling behind it too — “He looks happy that you waited.” Children read faces long before they read words.
Try this: Children copy what they see, so be the friendly behaviour you’re hoping to grow.
Week 4 — Practise sharing
Make sharing feel safe rather than like a loss.- Play short sharing games where the toy comes straight back, so letting go never feels risky.
- Offer a swap instead of an empty hand — a child who is given something finds it far easier to let something go.
- Praise every attempt and say exactly what they did: “You gave Ali a turn.”
- Put a few special toys away before anyone comes over. Expecting a child to share everything isn’t fair, and it isn’t what adults do either.
Try this: Sharing feels much safer once your child learns the toy always comes back.
Week 5 — Out into the world
Take the skills to one other child.- Set up one short, calm playdate with a single friend or cousin, at home, where your child feels safest.
- Plan the first five minutes and choose the toys in advance — two of the popular ones, and nothing precious.
- Stay close by to guide the turn-taking, and step in kindly before things boil over rather than after.
- Finish while it’s still going well. A short, happy visit beats a long one that ends in tears.
Try this: Practise at home, then take it out gently — one friend beats a crowd every time.
Week 6 — When it doesn’t go smoothly
Rehearse the hard bits: joining in, being told no, and losing.- Teach one simple way in and use the same words every time — walk over, watch for a moment, then ask “Can I play?”
- Rehearse the “no”. Being turned down happens to every child; practise walking away calmly and either trying again later or finding someone else.
- Play short games with a real winner and a real loser at home, where losing is safe, and let your child see you lose without any fuss.
- Wait a few seconds before you rescue. Small squabbles that children sort out themselves are the lesson, not the problem.
Try this: Rehearse the hard moment before it happens, never during it — nobody learns a new skill while they’re upset.
Little tricks that make it work
- Start with one calm playmate, not a busy, noisy group.
- Keep first playdates short, and finish while it’s still going well.
- Let your child watch. Standing at the edge watching other children is real social learning, not a wasted afternoon.
- Never force sharing, hugs or apologies — a forced sorry teaches performance, not kindness.
- Praise the trying, and say exactly what you liked rather than just “good boy”.
- Use puppets, stories and pretend play to rehearse social moments before they happen.
- Teach one short phrase at a time, and keep the words the same every time.
- Be your child’s teammate — stay close, and step in kindly when they need you.
How you’ll know it’s working
- Your child watches other children more, even if they aren’t joining in yet.
- They take more turns in a game before drifting off.
- They let a toy go, or accept a swap, with less of a fight.
- They move a little closer to other children — beside them first, then in with them.
- They use one of the phrases you’ve practised, in their own way, without you prompting.
- Playing with others feels a bit easier, and a bit happier, for your child.
Is this based on real methods? This program follows the order children naturally learn in — playing alone, watching others, playing alongside, then playing together — and uses widely recommended play-based social learning: following your child’s lead, modelling friendly behaviour, turn-taking games, rehearsing social moments in play, and practising at home before helping your child carry the skill over to other children and settings. The same principles sit behind parent-coaching approaches such as the Hanen approach, and behind the social-skills teaching speech and language therapists and behavioural support staff use every day.
Feeling stuck, or want this tailored to your own child? A therapist is happy to guide you.
Ask a therapist on WhatsAppMaking Friends: questions parents ask
My child plays next to other children but never really with them. Is that normal?
Usually, yes. Playing happily alongside another child, each doing their own thing, is a normal stage that lasts well past the second birthday. Properly co-operative play — agreeing a game, taking a role, sorting out who goes first — generally settles in closer to four. Look for a direction of travel rather than a date on the calendar. What is worth asking about is a child who shows no interest in other children at all.
How do I know if it’s shyness or something more?
Shyness is warm underneath. A shy child usually plays freely with parents, siblings and cousins, talks at home, and joins in once a place stops feeling new — it just takes longer. Be more curious if the difficulty is the same everywhere, including one to one with people your child loves, or if it comes with delayed language, little pointing or showing, or skills that have gone backwards. That mix is worth a developmental assessment.
My child snatches toys and refuses to share. Where do I start?
Start with turn-taking, not sharing. Turn-taking means the toy comes back, so it costs your child far less. Real sharing asks a young child to give something up, and most cannot manage that without help until well past three. Use very short turns, name them out loud, and offer a swap rather than an empty hand. If snatching usually ends in a meltdown, our big feelings home program works alongside this one.
The school says my child doesn’t mix with the class. What can I do at home?
Rehearse the exact moment that is going wrong. Most children stall at one point — walking up to a group, asking to join, or being told no. Practise that one moment at home with puppets, or with you playing the other child, using the same short words each time. Then ask the teacher for one buddy and a small-group task; free play is the hardest part of the school day, not the easiest. Classroom support can help too.
My child chats happily at home but freezes and won’t speak outside it. Why?
For some children this is anxiety rather than stubbornness, and it has a name — selective mutism. Pushing a child to speak tends to make it worse, because speaking is the very thing that feels unsafe. Take the pressure off, let them answer by nodding or pointing for now, praise being there rather than talking, and tell the school what helps. If it lasts beyond the first weeks of settling in, ask a child psychologist to look at it.
How do we get expert help with this in Multan, and what happens first?
Call or message us on +92 314 6040262 and tell us what you are seeing. A short conversation is often enough to work out whether your child needs an assessment now or simply more time and practice. If a visit makes sense, we are on MPS Road, Block A Model Town, Multan, near Bloomfield Hall School, Street No. 2, open Monday to Saturday, 10am to 7pm. You can also send your questions in writing.
Want expert eyes on your child’s progress?
A short, friendly conversation is the best first step. Call, text or WhatsApp us — we’ll listen and guide you, with no pressure.
MPS Road, Block A Model Town, Multan (near Bloomfield Hall School, Street No. 2) · Mon–Sat, 10 AM – 7 PM