By 4 years: milestone checklist
This is the age of endless questions, tall stories and first proper friendships. Here’s what plenty of four-year-olds are doing.
Written by the Inclusive Developmental and Therapy Center therapy team · medically reviewed by Dr Muhammad Suffyan, MB BS (GMC 8023727) · Last reviewed July 2026
How to use this checklist
- Go through each list and tick off every skill your child can already do.
- Try not to worry about a few “not yet”s — children grow at their own pace, and this is a gentle guide, not a test.
- Use the Ways to help ideas below to gently nudge along the skills that are still coming.
- If several skills are missing, or your child has lost skills they once had, have a look at the “when to seek advice” box and book a free check.
What most children do by their fourth birthday
Communication & language
- Tells you about something that happened
- Speech is clear to people outside the family
- Asks lots of “why” and “how” questions
- Uses longer sentences and joining words (“because”, “and”)
- Knows some colours and numbers
Social & play
- Plays cooperatively and shares (most of the time)
- Enjoys make-believe and role play with others
- Shows concern for a crying friend
- Separates from you without lasting distress
Movement & self-care
- Hops and stands on one foot briefly
- Draws a person with 2–4 body parts
- Uses scissors and catches a ball
- Manages most dressing and toileting
Ways to help your child grow
Four-year-olds are little storytellers, and keen to do things for themselves. Here’s how to feed that curiosity.
Encourage full stories with “and then what happened?” — help them use words like “because” and “first”.
Play “Simon says” or give three-step jobs — fun games that grow memory and careful listening.
Support games with rules like snakes-and-ladders — taking turns and losing kindly are big lessons.
Let them practise safe child scissors, draw a person and hop on one foot — building strength and control.
Let your child dress themselves, brush their teeth and help lay the table — praise the effort, not perfection.
Point out the first letter of their name on signs and packets — playful spotting sparks early reading.
Try today: Make up a story together, taking turns to add one sentence each until it has a silly ending.
When it’s worth having a chat
- Speech still hard for strangers to understand
- Can’t tell a simple story or follow a 3-step instruction
- Avoids or doesn’t engage with other children
- Struggles to hold a crayon or use scissors
If several of these feel familiar, an early, gentle check can bring real clarity — and support at the point where it helps most.
Seek help straight away if your child loses skills they once had; doesn’t respond to sounds or your voice (ask for a hearing test — don’t wait); doesn’t look at faces or make eye contact; or isn’t sitting on their own by 9–10 months, or walking by 18 months. If your child is ever in immediate danger or has hurt themselves, call your local emergency number or go to your nearest emergency department now.
This checklist is a general guide and not a diagnosis — children develop at their own pace. For a clear answer, speak to a professional near you, follow a home program at home, or book an online session with us from anywhere in the world.
Questions parents ask
What should a child do by their fourth birthday?
This is the age of endless questions, tall stories and first proper friendships. Here’s what plenty of four-year-olds are doing. This checklist covers communication, social, movement and self-care milestones, ways to help at home, and signs it’s worth seeking advice.
My child has missed a few of these — should I worry?
Not necessarily — every child develops at their own pace and one or two “not yet”s are common. A cluster of missed milestones, or any loss of skills, is worth a friendly check.
Not sure what the checklist is telling you?
Send us your child’s age and what you’ve noticed — we’ll help you make sense of it, gently and without pressure.
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