Teaching a child to ask instead of exploding
A lot of “bad behaviour” is a request with no words. We teach a way to ask that actually works — then the old way has a rival.
Written by the Inclusive Developmental and Therapy Center therapy team — our Speech & Language Therapist, psychology and ABA staff. This page is awaiting its clinical review.
How requesting is taught
Pick one thing they want every day — a biscuit, the tablet, to go out. Teach one ask that gets it: a card, a point, a word. Honour it quickly while it is new. Then fade. Teaching requests, talking program, AAC: pictures, signs, devices.
When the explosion continues
If the new ask does not actually get the job done, they will go back to the scream. Adults have to pay out on the new way. Behaviour at home, first-then.
Pay the ask, not the scream
If the new ask does not get the job done, they go back to the scream. Guide: teaching requests, AAC, talking program, late talkers.
The idea behind the work (in the books)
A lot of “bad behaviour” is a request with no words. Teach an ask that actually gets paid.
Frost and Bondy — PECS as one ask
A card, a point, a word. Honour it quickly while it is new. We are not a certified PECS centre.
Iwata — escape vs get
If the explosion is escaping a demand, more attention will not help. Teach “help” or “finished”, and make the task reachable.
What the research tells us
This isn’t just our opinion — it’s grounded in published research. Here are a few findings from trusted, independent sources:
NICE CG170 recommends a play-based social-communication intervention with parents, carers and teachers to increase joint attention, engagement and reciprocal communication, adjusted to the child’s developmental level. For pre-school children it recommends parent mediation.
— NICE Clinical Guideline CG170 — Autism spectrum disorder in under 19s: support and management. View source
Take a worksheet home
Print one sheet. Fill it in this week. Bring it to the consultation — a consultation is Rs 1,500 and lasts up to 50 minutes.
Requesting cards
Help, more, finished, stop, my turn, can I play — a faster ask than screaming.
First–then board
The hard moment, then the promised good thing — set out before the fight starts.
Talking home program (PDF)
An ask that actually gets paid.
Book a consultation
Contact owner Muhammad Salman Afzal first. No referral needed. A consultation is Rs 1,500 and lasts up to 50 minutes.
A way to ask — questions parents ask
Isn’t that rewarding bad behaviour if I still give the biscuit?
You are rewarding the ask, not the scream. Pay the ask. Do not pay the scream. That is the whole method.
They can talk. They just won’t.
Then talking is hard in that moment. A card is allowed as a bridge. We do not withhold the thing until they “use their words” if they are already in a flood.
Pictures will stop them talking.
Used well, they usually increase talking. We do not swap speech for pictures as a forever plan without a reason.
How do we start?
A consultation is Rs 1,500 and lasts up to 50 minutes. Tell us the one thing they want that starts the explosion.
Pictures will stop them talking.
Used well, they usually increase talking. We do not swap speech for pictures as a forever plan without a reason.
Ask about a way to ask
A short, friendly conversation is the best first step. Call, text or WhatsApp us — we’ll listen and guide you, with no pressure.
MPS Road, Block A Model Town, Multan (near Bloomfield Hall School, Street No. 2) · Mon–Fri, 2 PM – 6 PM