Child psychology for anger and big feelings
Anger is often a body past the edge, a language they cannot use, or a house with two scripts. We sort which, then teach a recovery — not a personality rebuild.
Written by the Inclusive Developmental and Therapy Center therapy team — our Speech & Language Therapist, psychology and ABA staff. This page is awaiting its clinical review.
Flood vs skill
If they are already in a flood, teaching waits. Safety, space, then a recovery. Skill practice happens when everyone is calm. Big feelings, big feelings program, managing big feelings, hitting and biting.
When behaviour therapy leads instead
If the anger has a clear job — escape, a request, attention — ABA may lead, with psychology in the family script. ABA, family work.
Safety first, then the replacement
Shame after a flood usually adds a second problem. Teach when they are calm. Hitting: what to do. ABA if the function is the wall: behavioural therapy.
Teach when they are calm
A flood is not a teaching moment. Safety first — people have to be protected — then the replacement when everyone can hear. “You are furious that it broke” reaches a child that “calm down” never will. If the explosion has a job (escape, a request), requesting may lead, with psychology on the family script.
They only explode with you: that is useful data, not proof you are the weak parent. The consequence is different with you. Tantrum or meltdown, hitting, ODD if the pattern is that — we do not throw that label in a first hour.
The idea behind the work (in the books)
Children do well if they can, not if they want to. Look for the lagging skill under the explosion.
Greene — The Explosive Child
Flexibility, language, sleep, a demand that is too hard. We look for that skill before we write a punishment plan we will not use.
Kazdin — PMT
When the anger has a job — escape, a request — teach the replacement and praise the ten quiet seconds.
What the research tells us
This isn’t just our opinion — it’s grounded in published research. Here are a few findings from trusted, independent sources:
A Cochrane review of 87 studies found that CBT for childhood anxiety leaves far more children free of their main anxiety diagnosis than a waiting list: around 49 in 100 after CBT, versus around 18 in 100 with no treatment (moderate-quality evidence).
— Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews — James, Reardon, Soler, James and Creswell (2020), CD013162. View source
Take a worksheet home
Print one sheet. Fill it in this week. Bring it to the consultation — a consultation is Rs 1,500 and lasts up to 50 minutes.
Feelings chart
Name the feeling before you fix it.
Calm-down plan
A short sequence for after a flood, not a lecture in the middle of one.
ABC behaviour record
What happened before, the behaviour, what happened after. A fortnight is enough.
Book a consultation
Contact owner Muhammad Salman Afzal first. No referral needed. A consultation is Rs 1,500 and lasts up to 50 minutes.
Anger — questions parents ask
Should I punish the hitting?
Safety first — people have to be protected. Shame after a flood usually adds a second problem. Teach the replacement when they are calm.
They only explode with me.
Then the consequence is different with you. That is useful, not proof you are the weak parent.
Is this ODD?
Sometimes the pattern matches. We do not throw that label around in a first hour. ODD.
How do we start?
A consultation is Rs 1,500 and lasts up to 50 minutes. A clip of the doorway, if you have one, is more useful than a tidy child in our room.
Should I punish the hitting?
People have to be protected. Shame after a flood is not the plan. Teach the replacement when they are calm.
Ask about anger
A short, friendly conversation is the best first step. Call, text or WhatsApp us — we’ll listen and guide you, with no pressure.
MPS Road, Block A Model Town, Multan (near Bloomfield Hall School, Street No. 2) · Mon–Fri, 2 PM – 6 PM